don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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