Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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