no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
God, I missed his penis.
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