At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize