we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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