I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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