so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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