If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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