I wish I could teleport
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
