I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have already put on my inside pants.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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