I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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