did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize