Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Found the puke drawer
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
