I didn't shave. On purpose
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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