I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
porn star boner night. come get it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
