so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
