We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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