please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
