You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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