Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
