I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
