Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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