You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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