Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
