Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If I die, sorry about rent.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize