I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
