u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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