TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
