I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
