just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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