im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
