maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
