Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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