We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
