At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
