I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
