A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
