my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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