I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
