i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
