It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
