The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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