i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
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