His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
