You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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