i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
