I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
