its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
