Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
