I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
