I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
