my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
