I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize