I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
