i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
