i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
