shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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