5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
