halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
His hands were made for my vagina.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
