I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
