brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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