D3 body, D1 cock
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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