I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
