keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
