you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize