Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
