$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
