Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
