Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The air was thick with penises
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
