Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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