I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
we're so committed to being not committed
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
