he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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