How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
