but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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