You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
