I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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