i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
