..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
