ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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